First email suggestion on dating sites

It’s a message that says “I’m too chicken-shit to/couldn’t be bothered to take the effort to write you first and so I’m hoping you’ll do the hard part for me.” It’s the Platonic Friend Gambit of online dating. You want to stand out from the crowd of men who are messaging her already. You need to keep certain guidelines in mind and build yourself a first contact template. One that doesn’t like a cut-and-paste job, but one that you can modify on the fly for any girl you might want to get in touch with. Shouldn’t you be carefully reading each girl’s profile and crafting each message to the girl like a special poem indicating just how special she is? And so,with an eye towards efficiency, you want to use your template to streamline the process while still maintaining that personal touch. Anything else a) makes you look like an illiterate and b) is going to turn her off about as fast as telling her you like to roll naked in week-old fish guts.

You want to her expectations and tempt her into replying to you. Now keep in mind: you’re not doing a complete copy and paste here (er… Second: You are conveying a specific attitude of confidence and curiosity.

You want her to know that you a) have a life and b) have your shit together.

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In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message A proper first contact message is convoluted; you want to set certain expectations and convey an attractive image of yourself. It sounds a little cold-blooded and impersonal, but you’re going to want to have a stock first message. Treat approaching women on online dating sites should be like dynamite fishing; you want to toss your messages out there and see what floats to the surface.

Personally, I’ve written things like “Pirates Are Much Cooler Than Ninjas” or “Who Ordered The Large Cheese Pizza, Double Anchovies”; anything that comes to mind.

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